20 Things I've Learnt in My 20 Years on Earth

On September 19th, I turned 20! I've officially left my teenage years and entered my 20s - that's going to take some getting used to! I'm not ready to let go of my teens; although they've been bittersweet, I will still miss the good times I had. I have learnt so many things during my life, and I'm going to share some with you, hoping that you will be able to take something from it!

1. Friends are not always there to stay.

During my life, I've been through so many friendship groups and we've either had a fallout that's ended the friendship or we've just naturally grown apart. I became very upset whenever the friendships would stop but I have now realised that not everyone is there to stay - even if you try to help it. I don't believe any of the friendships I had were mistakes, though. People in your life are either there to stay or they're there to teach you a lesson, and I've been blessed with a lot of lessons.

2. There are people who actually love their job - and you can too.

We're conditioned to hate our jobs and count down the minutes til "quitting time", but it doesn't always have to be like that. My boyfriend is actually the person who taught me this; he works over 12 hours a day and loves every second of it, even if it gets stressful. When I first met him I thought "Is he a robot? Who enjoys working that much every day?" but it's actually pretty normal to like your job, it's just the fact that people settle for a boring job with decent pay - or they decide to go out clubbing every other night instead of working hard for their future. To each his own I say, but really, if you are finding yourself not wanting to go to work every day because you hate it; do something about it.

3. Blood is not always thicker than water.

I'm not going to go into too much detail about why I know this for a fact. But don't think that you should stay civil with your family purely because well, they're your family. Family members can be crappy to you as much as friends can and if you aren't happy with your relationships, end them. There's no reason for you to carry on putting up with family members who are toxic, argumentative or judgemental. Keep all the good people in your life.

4. Compassion is key.

I've always loved animals, but I ate them and I realised that it wasn't right. Being such a big fan of River Phoenix's work, I was exposed pretty harshly to the horror of what happens to animals in order for them to get onto our plates. In January 2016, I decided to go vegetarian and that lasted 4 months before I made the jump to veganism and I have never felt better. There's something so rewarding and fulfilling about living a cruelty-free lifestyle and you couldn't pay me to go back.

5. Love actually does exist.

As a teenager, I thought love didn't exist (and I probably didn't even know what love was, in fact, I definitely didn't). A few months after my 18th birthday in 2015, I met the love of my life and I have never been more happy to have someone like him. Growing up, I had many crushes that I thought were love but I was just one of those girls that were obsessed with the thought of being in a relationship;  I guess we all go through that stage. Now that I'm actually in love, I realise that all those feelings I had during my teens were a load of rubbish!

6. Reading is awesome.

During the past 2 months, I have fallen in love with reading - for good this time. Reading is like TV inside your mind and allows your imagination to run free - at the moment I am reading Harry Potter & The Chamber of Secrets and it's amazing, I would even go as far as saying it's better than the film!

7. Popularity means nothing once you leave school.

Once you have left school that pretty popular chick you once wanted to be friends with won't matter anymore. She's in the same boat as you, she's new to the real world and is trying to find her way. I don't know why I was so bothered about being popular now I look back, but I guess we all were. As humans, we just want to impress people but I promise when school is over it won't matter anymore and you will thrive.

8. Positivity always wins.

If you go into something with a positive mind, you're more likely to come out with a positive result. A few days ago I passed my driving test 5th time lucky - I didn't keep failing because I couldn't drive, I failed because I went into the tests with a negative mind (and my nerves were sky high), so I messed up. The 5th time, I went into the test with the "I'm going to smash this test in the face!" attitude, and I did.

9. School isn't the best time of your life.

Since I started school, I was told by adults constantly to not complain about my school years because, apparently, they're the best years of your life. Following on from point #2, this was usually said by the adults who hated their jobs and would do anything to be learning again. Of course, some parts of school I do miss, but I am so excited for what's to come, I don't even have a minute to look back.

10. The success of others does not threaten your own.

I hate to admit it, but I spent a lot of my teens being jealous of my friend's accomplishments and not being as happy for them as I should've been. But who says I wasn't also successful? Instead of being jealous of people, I learnt to grow with them and support them through any troubles they have and now I feel happier with myself.

11. Relationships aren't just smooches and cuddles.

Relationships take time and a lot of effort - there will be rocky parts but if you're meant to be together, you will find your way back. Being in my first real adult relationship, I've realised that it's okay to disagree with them or defend yourself even though you love them - of course, without bringing them down.

12. The world is our home and we must look after it.

Since going vegan, I've been exposed to how much the world is dying and how it's crucial for us to look after Mother Earth as much as we can. Even if you're not able to go vegan at this point in time, try recycling, taking shorter showers, cut down your meat intake etc.

13. Not everyone will like you, but that's okay.

You could be the kindest person on the planet and there will always be at least one person that doesn't like you. There's nothing wrong with it, you can't expect everyone to like you. Don't blame yourself if you don't know why someone doesn't like you, though! Move on and live your life, sis!

14. Don't be afraid to embrace your inner child.

I can admit that I act like a 10-year-old sometimes, but I don't care. I sleep with a stuffed toy, I love Bratz films and I get still find pleasure from Disney. You should always hold onto your youth no matter what age you are! Remember, you are the age that you feel.

15. Stop worrying about everything.

Easier said than done, I know. I have anxiety, but I've been training myself to think of a positive every time I worry about something negatively. The amount of times I've worried over nothing is silly and I'm glad that my mindset is gradually changing!

16. Spending time alone is crucial. 

Finding time alone for yourself is important, you must get to know yourself. If you don't get to know yourself, then how can you expect anyone else to? Find yourself a place where you enjoy being alone; mine is my bedroom. I can be alone in my thoughts while reading a book or watching a YouTube video.

17. Your parents were right even when you thought they were wrong.

When I was younger, I always thought my Mum was in the wrong when she told me to eat my dinner or keep my phone downstairs at night time etc. But I am wiser now and realise that she only did these things in her best interest, not to annoy me!

18. Be friends with people who want success.

People who are negative about life and don't mind if they fail are not people you should hang around with! Be friends with people who have a goal and know what they need to do in order to get that - and don't forget to support them, too! Help each other grow.

19. There's more to life than clubbing.

I've never been the type of person to go clubbing, I've been 5 or 6 times since turning 18, mostly because I hate the feeling of being drunk and I also hate the feeling the morning after. Now, I'm not saying I don't enjoy the odd drink, getting tipsy is fun! But when it gets to the point of not knowing my own name - that's not fun. I'd rather spend my Friday night blogging than going out getting blackout drunk, which may sound boring, but it's a heck of a lot more productive for me.

20. Live in the present.

When I turned 20 last week, I thought to myself "Wow, my teenage years are really over!" and it made me stop and breathe for a second, realising what I have right now: A healthy family, a supportive boyfriend, and lifelong friends. The present moment is all we have and you shouldn't waste it worrying about tomorrow.

I hope you have learnt something from this blog post. Don't ever be afraid of leaving your teens - age is just a number and age is what you make it.

Please leave a comment if you have any suggestions for future blog posts. I am also happy to answer any questions about veganism you may have.

💓 Phoebe xoxo

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